Yeah its been awhile. Not sure if its laziness or just being uninspired, but for anyone wanting to know what has been going on with me, here are some quick quips:
I have been out boating almost every weekend and my skin color is the tannest it has ever been. For my northern friends, gulf water temps are in the mid to high 80s and weather has still been a hot a humid 90.
I am so ready for the cooler weather.
Peters place was being tented so him and Jen were with me the past week. They tried very hard to pick up after themselves and were pleasant company to have for a week, but I am glad for having my house to myself again.
I am 1 day shy of 90 days at my new job and so far so good. Health benefits kick in October 1st and the first thing I am doing is getting my eyes checked. I am soooooooooo blind! Pay still barely gets me by, but so far I have managed to avoid getting a second job, that might be in part to mooching off of Beach Crawler on the weekends......see girls , BF can be of value....... XOXO :)
Beach Crawler has been super to me.
I haven't seen Fred in a bit and I guess I need to make a permanent week night to meet him at the watering hole to keep up with him......need to get George along too cause I have dearly missed both of them.
The ferrets are lovin the polecat parlour...... they still get put in the cage when I go to work but they love having the roam of the room during the night, and its great when guests are over cause they don't get stuck in their cage and suffer from lack of exercise.
I acquired a laser sailboat from my mother. Its been sadly neglected for a long, long time and needs a lot of work. The hull leaks and I hope we can fix that and make it seaworthy again. It will be so much fun sailing again.
Monday, September 18, 2006
Monday, August 28, 2006
Remembrance
Today I woke up and felt the depression sink over me...... it was 2 years ago today that Pete died. While I have been moving forward with my life there is a part of me that stays back, in the past, holding on. I miss him and I can't dismiss his existence. He is a part of me and he is a part of my son. I believe he watches over us. I miss him. I miss his laugh. I miss his friendship.
Monday, August 21, 2006
Fun -N- Sun
I was out at Anclotte Island yesterday, well another island a little ways from it anyway. During high tide the island is very small and almost non existent, during low tide it is a favorite hangout with boaters of every variety. Its really a group of three sandbars, but a small portion stays exposed, enough for some plants to grow. People go out there and hang out, meet other friends and by and large..... party. Its amazing the gadgets you can buy for boats........... grills, cutting boards and counters that all fit into the rod holes. We grilled on the boat and everyone then wades the food, tents, chairs and beverages onto the island where you just generally have a great time. People bring their dogs and everyone gets along. You can meet up with old friends or make new. Its a definite case of the more the merrier. By noon its a parking lot and nothing but boats anchored side by side by side. Once you "park" your boat ya gotta keep and eye on it. As the tide goes out you occasionally have to move the boat out. One side of the island you have to be really careful, if you don't move fast enough and check on your boat regularly, you may find your self getting beached between 2 sand bars and having to wait for the next high tide.........not a good idea, specially if the next doesn't come until 9PM.
Tuesday, August 01, 2006
A Little Something Nice to Say
As parents we often have a lot of gripes about our kids, they don't pick up after themselves, they waste electricity, they waste the water, they don't listen, they only think of themselves, they complain about doing chores, etc, etc, etc.
BUT
I must mention two things that my son did that showed me my efforts to teach him have not gone in vain........ that somewhere I did something right............he made me very proud.......
1) They day after Teeki died he called me to see how I was doing. (He later admitted that he took it hard as well and his GF had to console him.)
2) He came by my house and surprised me by taking my truck to the shop where he works and changing my oil, oil filter and air filter because he heard me mention the oil change was 1500 miles past due. Cost to me....... zero dollars.
BUT
I must mention two things that my son did that showed me my efforts to teach him have not gone in vain........ that somewhere I did something right............he made me very proud.......
1) They day after Teeki died he called me to see how I was doing. (He later admitted that he took it hard as well and his GF had to console him.)
2) He came by my house and surprised me by taking my truck to the shop where he works and changing my oil, oil filter and air filter because he heard me mention the oil change was 1500 miles past due. Cost to me....... zero dollars.
Sunday, July 23, 2006
Thursday, July 20, 2006
Aghast with Horror, Sickened Beyond Belief
As posted on Bay News 9
The St. Petersburg Police Department is looking for a man who allegedly grabbed an 8-year-old girl early Wednesday afternoon.The girl's mother had brought her and her 7-year-old brother to play at Central Oaks Park. St. Petersburg Police spokesman Bill Proffit said the children's mother remembered she had left the stove on. She ran home and the children stayed to play. Almost immediately, the children noticed a stranger so they started home. "Before they could leave the park, the man came up from behind, grabbed her in a bear hug, pushed her down and got on her," Proffit said. The boy ran home to get his mother. Meanwhile, Aaron Chambliss, who was nearby, saw what was happening and rushed to help. "He saw me coming to her rescue and he proceeded to get up and run, but in a split second he changed his mind and jumped back on her before she could get up," Chambliss said. "And that's when I hit full sprint. I was going to catch him. I was going to do something about it." A female motorist also saw what was happening and honked her horn in an attempt to get the suspect off the girl."They saw and instantly perceived that a crime was being committed," Proffitt said. "There was no doubt in their minds and they took action immediately. The blaring of the horn and the running over here actually stopped the man from continuing what he was doing."
*****************************************************************************
No more innocent days for children................. they are long gone. I remember my mother getting fed up with our childish antics and would throw bagged lunches at me and my brother and tell us to get out and not to come home until dinner time. We would promptly go next door and gather up Kevin and Lisa and head out to wherever our feet took us. Sometimes it was deep into the woods and rock hills 2 miles down the road or it could be 2 miles the other direction to the pond. Adventures awaited and we were out to conquer the world. How sad is it that children can no longer know this sense of absolute freedom. No parents around and our imaginations free to run. No one telling you not to climb the cliff, don't swing on that branch, don't get wet, don't throw that, don't pick that up........... Those hours were the best! We were free to do as we pleased and to be what we wanted. The only thing that limited us, was ourselves. Childhood days were glorious.............. not a care in the world.
Why have we allowed sickos and pervs to steal this from our children. I can't even imagine raising a child in this day and age. When Peter was growing up, by 8 he was able to wander the neighborhood with his friends, 1 block over and 3 blocks down, if you went inside a friends house you called me to let me know. I had wished that my son could have experienced a neighborhood like mine....not the cement playgrounds we had come to live in. That was 11 years ago........ and he is a boy....... but even today boys are just as much at risk. Why can't we teach criminals that want to prey on our children that this won't be tolerated. Why can't we maim them, castrate them, brand them with a "P" or just kill them?
Why can't we take back what belongs to our children......... innocence, imagination, and fun, all with no cares, and no worries.
How sad that children can't experience childhood the way we did. It makes me cry.
The St. Petersburg Police Department is looking for a man who allegedly grabbed an 8-year-old girl early Wednesday afternoon.The girl's mother had brought her and her 7-year-old brother to play at Central Oaks Park. St. Petersburg Police spokesman Bill Proffit said the children's mother remembered she had left the stove on. She ran home and the children stayed to play. Almost immediately, the children noticed a stranger so they started home. "Before they could leave the park, the man came up from behind, grabbed her in a bear hug, pushed her down and got on her," Proffit said. The boy ran home to get his mother. Meanwhile, Aaron Chambliss, who was nearby, saw what was happening and rushed to help. "He saw me coming to her rescue and he proceeded to get up and run, but in a split second he changed his mind and jumped back on her before she could get up," Chambliss said. "And that's when I hit full sprint. I was going to catch him. I was going to do something about it." A female motorist also saw what was happening and honked her horn in an attempt to get the suspect off the girl."They saw and instantly perceived that a crime was being committed," Proffitt said. "There was no doubt in their minds and they took action immediately. The blaring of the horn and the running over here actually stopped the man from continuing what he was doing."
*****************************************************************************
No more innocent days for children................. they are long gone. I remember my mother getting fed up with our childish antics and would throw bagged lunches at me and my brother and tell us to get out and not to come home until dinner time. We would promptly go next door and gather up Kevin and Lisa and head out to wherever our feet took us. Sometimes it was deep into the woods and rock hills 2 miles down the road or it could be 2 miles the other direction to the pond. Adventures awaited and we were out to conquer the world. How sad is it that children can no longer know this sense of absolute freedom. No parents around and our imaginations free to run. No one telling you not to climb the cliff, don't swing on that branch, don't get wet, don't throw that, don't pick that up........... Those hours were the best! We were free to do as we pleased and to be what we wanted. The only thing that limited us, was ourselves. Childhood days were glorious.............. not a care in the world.
Why have we allowed sickos and pervs to steal this from our children. I can't even imagine raising a child in this day and age. When Peter was growing up, by 8 he was able to wander the neighborhood with his friends, 1 block over and 3 blocks down, if you went inside a friends house you called me to let me know. I had wished that my son could have experienced a neighborhood like mine....not the cement playgrounds we had come to live in. That was 11 years ago........ and he is a boy....... but even today boys are just as much at risk. Why can't we teach criminals that want to prey on our children that this won't be tolerated. Why can't we maim them, castrate them, brand them with a "P" or just kill them?
Why can't we take back what belongs to our children......... innocence, imagination, and fun, all with no cares, and no worries.
How sad that children can't experience childhood the way we did. It makes me cry.
Thursday, July 13, 2006
Sounds of the Night
I have fond memories of visits to my grandparent in Massachusetts. Our visits were often for several days and one of my sweet memories of my grandfather was his snoring. My grandparents were in the room at the end of the hall, but his snoring could be heard 'round the world. Funny thing is I took comfort in the sound of his deep sleep sounds. They were enough to wake me, give me a sense of security, and lull me back to sleep. So when is it that this became the annoying racket that disturbed my rest and sent me to the couch to sleep? I can't say I truly remember. I remember my ex snoring and I hated it, but was that only once I came to loath him? Did I carry that then to my next relationship with Pete? I often woke up and gave him a gentle shove to roll over......sometimes he was so tired that he only immediately started again and I would, once again, move to the couch. I can't remember.................. I can't remember when it went from comfort to disdain......................... I do know that lately when a certain person falls into deep lala land, he too snores (tho he may deny it) and while it wakes me up, I find myself contently drifting back off to sleep.
Tuesday, July 11, 2006
Quick Quips
The rain has finally come to Florida and the afternoon weather pattern has settled in. No sooner have I finished mowing the lawn and its ready for another cut.
The ferrets are very happy with their room. My son has made the statement that it seems he couldn't move out fast enough for me. I replied that it wasn't so much him that I was anxiuos to have move out and disappear, as I was the shit hole he was living in. (Ew ew ew the sludge ate through gloves)
I have another stray cat that has adopted me. She shows up on the doorstep when she can't find enough to eat. She also has a crush on Snickers. Mittens, the old man still shows up too.
The house is quiet without Heidi. Sergei misses her. He spent 2 days looking for her and crying.
I hate the fact I didn't get to make my annual July trip to visit my dad in VA. I think he was more disappointed
I am beside myself that I can't visit Pete in August. Its really tearing me up. Maybe I should spend the money and make it a short, and quick weekend trip anyway.
The ferrets are very happy with their room. My son has made the statement that it seems he couldn't move out fast enough for me. I replied that it wasn't so much him that I was anxiuos to have move out and disappear, as I was the shit hole he was living in. (Ew ew ew the sludge ate through gloves)
I have another stray cat that has adopted me. She shows up on the doorstep when she can't find enough to eat. She also has a crush on Snickers. Mittens, the old man still shows up too.
The house is quiet without Heidi. Sergei misses her. He spent 2 days looking for her and crying.
I hate the fact I didn't get to make my annual July trip to visit my dad in VA. I think he was more disappointed
I am beside myself that I can't visit Pete in August. Its really tearing me up. Maybe I should spend the money and make it a short, and quick weekend trip anyway.
Thursday, July 06, 2006
A New Room
With my son out of the house I wanted to clean his toxic waste site of a room, ASAP. By Thursday I was donning the hazmat suit and digging around in the debris. In total I had nearly 2 full dumpsters (150 gallon size) of trash, and I do mean trash! It took me a total of 14 hours to go through all the garbage that littered the space. The room was last painted 6 years ago when I moved in. 3 walls were white and one wall and all the trim had been done in Detroit Redwings red, Peter was a redwings fan. Red and white rope lights now only half hung from the ceiling and the white paint was dingy, splotchy and full of holes from the two million pictures, posters and car parts that Peter had hung on the walls. I volunteered BC to help me paint.................... he even helped pick out the colors............. of course his motivation to help me get this room cleaned up was that I couldn't spend any weekends at his place until I had a room that the ferrets could be free in to run around and play in for 2 days. So we set to work. First we pulled down the sagging rope lights and peeled the glue off the ceiling. We primed and painted the walls and trim. Once the paint had dried we put shelves up in the room and put the futon and coffee table in place. We removed the door and since it was in such bad shape decided to cut it in half and finish the top with a shelf to give people something to lean on for ther viewing comfort. This took us all day Saturday and Sunday. On Monday, after the paint had time to cure and there was no longer that "new paint" smell, we moved the ferret's cage in the room. I brought in their litter boxes, auto feeder, auto watering dish and their gazillion toys and tunnels. Finishing touch was a sign above the door that reads "Polecat Parlour" Oh such happy ferrets I have! I still let them run the house while I am home and put them in the cage at night or while at work, but if guests come over or if I want to disappear for 2 days, they have a ferret friendly room to play in and get all their daily exercise and the room can double as a guest room should some need to stay a night....there is the futon and in the closet (doors are removed and curtains hung) you will find a tv, shelves, some drawers and a radio........who could ask for more?
Wednesday, July 05, 2006
Fireworks and a Happy 4th
Fireworks make me happy.
As a little girl I was always thrilled with them.
I find them beautiful and amazing to watch.
A little less than 12 years ago I met Claude. He is a unique individual. His personality is caring and loving with a touch of a dirty old man. He says what’s on his mind. He had been a fireman quite a while back and still volunteers time. He has the typical fireman trait…….he loves to play in fire.......... whether it be putting it out or creating it. So imagine a fireman with a pyrotechnics license. What’s this got to do with fireworks? I often get to be right there in the staging area when Claude is doing a show. Peter helps him set up and light up. Anyway, fireworks from the staging area is a different experience. They are directly overhead. and your best viewing position is to be flat on your back looking up to the sky. As the fireworks explode above you, they are larger and brighter. As they fall, it is like having shooting stars all around you or driving quickly through a star field. When the larger rockets are sent off you feel the percussion blow over you. It adds a different element to the viewing, not only do you have heightened sight and sound you now have add the sense of touch. You feel, see and hear the fireworks in a way that completely engulfs you and draws you in. What a way to watch them! Add in the patriotic music and it would bring a tear to any red blooded American.
As a little girl I was always thrilled with them.
I find them beautiful and amazing to watch.
A little less than 12 years ago I met Claude. He is a unique individual. His personality is caring and loving with a touch of a dirty old man. He says what’s on his mind. He had been a fireman quite a while back and still volunteers time. He has the typical fireman trait…….he loves to play in fire.......... whether it be putting it out or creating it. So imagine a fireman with a pyrotechnics license. What’s this got to do with fireworks? I often get to be right there in the staging area when Claude is doing a show. Peter helps him set up and light up. Anyway, fireworks from the staging area is a different experience. They are directly overhead. and your best viewing position is to be flat on your back looking up to the sky. As the fireworks explode above you, they are larger and brighter. As they fall, it is like having shooting stars all around you or driving quickly through a star field. When the larger rockets are sent off you feel the percussion blow over you. It adds a different element to the viewing, not only do you have heightened sight and sound you now have add the sense of touch. You feel, see and hear the fireworks in a way that completely engulfs you and draws you in. What a way to watch them! Add in the patriotic music and it would bring a tear to any red blooded American.
Monday, June 26, 2006
Heidi
My son and his girlfriend are moving into a new apartment out on the beach. He has been staying with me while they wait for the current tenants to vacate. He has had with them their new kitten. She came into this house a very shy and scared little girl. She and he siblings were rescued from the hull of a boat and it has taken some time for her to warm up to humans. She fell in love with Sergei and has been his shadow since week two. She now sleeps in bed with me and will think nothing of cuddling up to me. She has come a long way and I will miss her when she moves out tomorrow to go with my son to their new digs. It has been wonderful watching her transformation from the shy kitten that coward under the bed and in the closet to the outgoing playful and mischievous thing she has become. Maybe she was the another reason for my unemployment...........
Thursday, June 15, 2006
Employed
I am once again among the employed!
Here are some stats for you.
Fired May 19
Hired June 15
19 working days
93 resumes sent out
3 over the phone interviews
6 face to face interviews
Average pay being offered - $31,000.00 yearly
Unemployment pay - $275.00 a week (Yah can you believe that!)
What I felt was useless and unproductive. Depressed about not being able to find a job and worried about no income and all the things with it like losing the house etc....... I still need to eventually find a second job. The employment I took will pay the household bills but does not give me enough money for groceries, gas and play.
Lesson learned - Unemployment sucks and job hunting sucks more.........
Here are some stats for you.
Fired May 19
Hired June 15
19 working days
93 resumes sent out
3 over the phone interviews
6 face to face interviews
Average pay being offered - $31,000.00 yearly
Unemployment pay - $275.00 a week (Yah can you believe that!)
What I felt was useless and unproductive. Depressed about not being able to find a job and worried about no income and all the things with it like losing the house etc....... I still need to eventually find a second job. The employment I took will pay the household bills but does not give me enough money for groceries, gas and play.
Lesson learned - Unemployment sucks and job hunting sucks more.........
Wednesday, June 14, 2006
Moving Along
I once stated that I couldn't imagine a long term or permanent relationship with anyone who wasn't also my best friend. I think many people end up married and never accomplish this. They may love one another, but they never develop that bond where they can talk to each other easily about everything. You know.....fears, hopes, dreams, emotions, feelings, what made me laugh today, the latest gossip, a stupid joke, a trivial event that occurred, I had this really random thought, etc...etc...etc. Nothing is too trite to mention and no topic is uncomfortable. I realize that this bond or type of friendship does not appear overnight. It is worked at and developed over many, many months and sometimes years.
Now why did I bring this up?
Last weekend I was over at BC's place. A home project has loomed overhead for several months at his place and on Saturday evening when asked what I wanted to do on Sunday, I said, " Let's attack the garage." Response back.......a happy and firm.....ok! So on Sunday morning...err... late morning we cleaned out the garage and organized it so that one sleek green beemer could now fit into the garage. The importance of this you ask? Well for the first time, other than cooking a meal, which also plays into all of this, we worked together on something that required team work and cooperation. During this time trivial conversation occurred as well as suggestions to each other, and in a way, constructive criticism on if one plan or organization was better than another. The interaction it takes to work together on something is different than the interaction people have over eating dinner, watching tv, driving, or being out on a date. I think you see each other in a different light. Soooooo with that in mind, for the first time since we started dating, I felt like we were well on our way to developing a friendship.
Now why did I bring this up?
Last weekend I was over at BC's place. A home project has loomed overhead for several months at his place and on Saturday evening when asked what I wanted to do on Sunday, I said, " Let's attack the garage." Response back.......a happy and firm.....ok! So on Sunday morning...err... late morning we cleaned out the garage and organized it so that one sleek green beemer could now fit into the garage. The importance of this you ask? Well for the first time, other than cooking a meal, which also plays into all of this, we worked together on something that required team work and cooperation. During this time trivial conversation occurred as well as suggestions to each other, and in a way, constructive criticism on if one plan or organization was better than another. The interaction it takes to work together on something is different than the interaction people have over eating dinner, watching tv, driving, or being out on a date. I think you see each other in a different light. Soooooo with that in mind, for the first time since we started dating, I felt like we were well on our way to developing a friendship.
Thursday, June 08, 2006
My Space
So what is the big deal about My Space? What has made it so popular to hang out on? I checked out my sons page and his GF's page and a the pages of a few of my adult friends. Quite frankly I don't see what is so "cool" about it. From what I see its a lot of fake plastic people and grown up wannabes.
Here is what I see:
1. Teenagers ( a lot of 13 and 14 year olds) trying to be hot and sexy and looking 21. Nothing like attracting the pervs
2. A bunch of teenagers trash talking each other.
3. Lots of woman displaying themselves like pieces of meat for sale.
4. Lots of men with really stupid lines trying to be macho.
5. Women putting their pictures on the pages of men they have never met and calling them a "friend"
Whats so cool about all that? I don't see the attraction. I'll just stick to the simple thoughts and ramblings.
Here is what I see:
1. Teenagers ( a lot of 13 and 14 year olds) trying to be hot and sexy and looking 21. Nothing like attracting the pervs
2. A bunch of teenagers trash talking each other.
3. Lots of woman displaying themselves like pieces of meat for sale.
4. Lots of men with really stupid lines trying to be macho.
5. Women putting their pictures on the pages of men they have never met and calling them a "friend"
Whats so cool about all that? I don't see the attraction. I'll just stick to the simple thoughts and ramblings.
Wednesday, May 31, 2006
Hangin' Out
I took my ass out to be with some adult company....... it was nice after having been so isolated the last week and a half. I met up with George and Fred and Fred's new squeeze and Fred’s mom. We had some B-day cake and proceeded to the ol' watering hole. Had some beverages, attempted to play some pool and had the much needed adult conversation and interaction. It was also nice hanging with Da Boys again. Something I haven't done in a while and greatly missed. I feel I have somewhat neglected these two long time friends in turn for another improvement in my life but need to learn how to mesh these two parts of my life together or to set aside some time for friends who have been with me through thick and thin. Loyalty is everything.
And speaking of the improvement in my life....
What a great weekend I had. Having been stressed all week over not having a job, it was great being preoccupied, so that not once, did I have an anxiety attack. BC had been traveling all week and so being the travel weary puppy that he was; we spent Saturday, Sunday and Monday, watching movies, vegging on the couch and cooking meals together. Such an enjoyable relaxing weekend.
And speaking of the improvement in my life....
What a great weekend I had. Having been stressed all week over not having a job, it was great being preoccupied, so that not once, did I have an anxiety attack. BC had been traveling all week and so being the travel weary puppy that he was; we spent Saturday, Sunday and Monday, watching movies, vegging on the couch and cooking meals together. Such an enjoyable relaxing weekend.
Monday, May 29, 2006
Jobless
So here I sit a week into unemployment. It sucks. But I am trying to weigh which is worse, unemployment or the job I currently had. I am leaning towards my recent employment. After three days of hunting the web and newspapers and 45 resumes later I finally broke down and had the pity party I had been denying myself. I got shit faced and cried. The next day I awoke with a slight hangover and realized I had been in the same clothes for 4 days and hadn't showered. Ya, I know...ew, ew, ew. What I realize now was I should have just let myself wallow in self pity the first day and things might not have gotten so bad.
Well I had 2 over the phone interviews that were paying way to low. It would have taken 2 jobs to pay the bills. I had one face to face interview with round 2 tomorrow, and a job prospect elsewhere....maybe. Now if I can just get the anxiety attacks to stop............... I didn't have a single one over the weekend............... must be that I was being pre-occupied by someone :) *Sigh* Maybe this week will bring something better. I was told to try and enjoy some of my free time. Maybe this week I will................
Well I had 2 over the phone interviews that were paying way to low. It would have taken 2 jobs to pay the bills. I had one face to face interview with round 2 tomorrow, and a job prospect elsewhere....maybe. Now if I can just get the anxiety attacks to stop............... I didn't have a single one over the weekend............... must be that I was being pre-occupied by someone :) *Sigh* Maybe this week will bring something better. I was told to try and enjoy some of my free time. Maybe this week I will................
Saturday, May 20, 2006
Thursday, May 18, 2006
Nit Picking - Its all in jest
Aoccdrnig to rseerach at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be at the rghit pclae. The rset can be a total mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Amzanig huh?
PS: Hwo'd yuo lkie to run tihs by yuor sepll ckehcer?
I find this whole line of study quite interesting since spell checker in blogger is not that great and I have a certain reader who always wants to point out my misspelled words.
So now I say……..HA!
If you can’t read what I write because its misspelled then you might want to have talk with those Canadian teachers who didn’t learn ya right. :)
What do ya say ta that eh???
PS: Hwo'd yuo lkie to run tihs by yuor sepll ckehcer?
I find this whole line of study quite interesting since spell checker in blogger is not that great and I have a certain reader who always wants to point out my misspelled words.
So now I say……..HA!
If you can’t read what I write because its misspelled then you might want to have talk with those Canadian teachers who didn’t learn ya right. :)
What do ya say ta that eh???
Monday, May 15, 2006
Major Monday Blahs
I hate Mondays......... mostly cause I have been having these really great weekends and then I have to go back to a job I hate. It really sucks spending 45+ hours a week someplace you hate. But today was even more depressing because today would have been Petes birthday........ one of those things that comes back to jab at you and remind you. And I hear those words bouncing off the walls that everyone saying to me........ your moving on with your life so look to the future and not the past, but I look at it this way......... I only have the past to look at to remember him. Its not that I don't want to move forward with my life, its that I don't want to forget this wonderful person. I want to remember his face, his voice, his infectous laugh, and the giving person that he was. We can move forward in our life.....but there are always parts of our heart that get left behind with those that we loved deeply. These are the pains that don't ever go away....... and maybe..... they are what tell us to love and live more fully.
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