Christmas

Ok so Christmas wasn't as bad as I thought it would be......................
The three day weekend was nice ......................
Seeing my two brothers was great.........................
and Christmas morning with a sleepy head BC was nice too.
So Christmas morning I was up before BC. Waaaaaaay before BC. Just a little before 10 AM he rolled outta bed and made his presence known. I handed him his cup of joe and like a little kid he wanted to get into his presents. We opened gifts and the ferrets ran amuck in the strewn paper and plastic bubble wrap. Each box was a new adventure for them. Steve seemed to like his new humidor and cigar accessories. I got my long awaited handmade glass necklace and some memory for the computer. I guess he got the hint everytime I cursed out the computer because it couldn't move any faster than molasses going uphill in the winter.
About noon we made it over to my mothers where Doug and Dwain were staying, my brothers and Peter and his Girlfriend came over as well. More gifts, conversation, tv and dinner at 5 followed by lots more conversation. It was nice catching up and BC saw that my family wasn't so bad. No ax murderers, psychopath, or lunatics. All in all it was a pleasant day and all the pressure of gift buying and party going was over......

Ah life back to normal........................

Latest and Greatest

So I spent the beginning of Thanksgiving week out on the beach at the Sirata with BC. It was a nice few days and while the weather itself was a bit chilly with the wind and all, the stay was great. We had an ocean view balcony which was protected from the wind and got the warmth of the afternoon sun. It made afternoon cocktails on the balcony very pleasant. We spent time walking on the beach, sitting on the balcony, sitting at the hotel bar and chatting with out of towners. It was a nice break from reality. We cam back to my house Thanksgiving morning and I spent the better part of the day cooking. My mother came over and of course Peter was there as well. It was a quiet holiday which was fine by me.

Which brings me to the rest of the holiday season.....so it is in full swing and I still don't know what to feel. The last two Christmas's were low in spirit and could have passed me by without me caring. I managed a tree last year, but that was mostly for Peter. This year my brothers will be in town and I will be forced to join in merriment. I guess I can root around and see if the Spirit of the Season is ready to envelop me or if it will still just be an effort to make it through. Maybe BC and I can find it together.

Business Of Life

Well its been a bit.......I have been so tied up with the errands and stuff that I just haven't posted for some time.

First off another ferret joined the household but seems to have trouble settling in. Quizzy (the newbie) and Tauvi seem to have a contest going over who is gonna be the alpha of the business (a group of ferrets) I think Quizzy is more than happy to be a subordinate but Tauvi being the street girl that she is, has to tell him everyday at least 5 times a day. So I currently keep them in separate caging areas and have to supervise all playtime. The squabbling seems to be lessening.....or am I just being optimistic.

I had a doctors visit and was prescribed a new med called lisinopril. I was told the side effects might be a dry cough. NOT! Upon reading the flyer and info on Web MD, I found that 1% of people will suffer fatigue, vomiting, diarrhea, abdominal pain, dizzy spells and headaches. The first day I took the meds I became so tired that I fell asleep on my bed at 6PM and didn't wake up until my alarm went off the next morning. Next day I took the meds I was not only tired but became extremely nauseous and suffered from pain in the abdomen, headaches, violent fluid explosions, and fever. Saturday I decided there was no way I was taking any more of it, but it takes 48 to 72 hours to clear out of your system. Saturday I was recovering and feeling much better by 6PM. I had just finished fixing dinner for myself, some soup and a grilled cheese sammich, when the doorbell rang. I eventually broke from the intruder and went to go eat. can of soup still in my hand and got so dizzy that I passed out. I awoke and estimated 2 minutes later, still dizzy, soup all over the carpet and sick as all hell. I went directly to bed with occasional trips to the bathroom. Sunday was much better, most of the drug was out of my system and other than some mild headaches and physical weakness was doing much better,. This was definitely a case of the side effects being worse than the problem. Doc better find another drug family that can ease the problem at hand.

Quick Quips

Went to the outdoor Florida orchestra concert this past Saturday and what beautiful weather we had. The afternoon was 84 and breezy so the picnic and people watching was great. The evening brought cooler temps and a wonderful selection of music, topped off with the usual fireworks finale.

Peter is feeling unsure about school. He wants to know how he is gonna be able to work and pay his bills and go to the fire academy. I reminded him that Pete worked and went to school and that if we get the school loan that will help also with daily living for him.

I brought Nissmo's ashes home today.

Work is going well......need more pay!

And lastly......................
Anyone else see the brawl between Miami and Florida International? Seems to me that there ought to be more than just one game suspensions. And even moreso has anyone looked at Miami' troubled past? Here are some highlights:
* Several Miami players fought with LSU players following the Tigers' Peach Bowl win.
*Shortly before the Miami-Louisville game Sept. 16, virtually the entire Hurricanes' roster jumped on the Cardinals logo at midfield, an act widely viewed as a taunting gesture.
* A Miami player, Willie Cooper, was shot outside his home shortly before training camp began in what players contend was a robbery attempt. Meriweather returned fire; so we got gun toten' hooligans to be polite.
* Wide receiver Ryan Moore, who was suspended for the Peach Bowl for violating team rules, then suspended again for other infractions, is expected to be charged this week with misdemeanors stemming from an August fight with a woman. What a man he must be!

What are these guys gonna be like when they hit the pros?

Nissmo

Rainbow Bridge 10/6/06
Nissmo Sleeping in his favorite place - the bath tub

Another heartbreak has hit my family of fuzzies. I take this one harder because he wasn't ill. I had a rug I was thinking of putting in the ferret room. I stood the rolled up on end in the corner of the room and left it. In the morning when I go to work I usually put the ferrets in their cage and head off to work, but Friday I didn't because they seemed to be full of a lot of extra energy. So I closed them in their room and went to work. I came home that evening and let them out but noticed Nissmo didn't come out to play. I figured that he had gone into one of his deep deep sleeps and would wake up later and come out. I decided to not put the carpet in the room and moved it out to the kitchen to get rid of. By 9PM there was still no Nissmo and I was getting worried, by 10 I was looking all over and even checking outside. I went to bed at 1 but was unable to sleep and lay awake most of the night. I got up at 5 and started looking again..... I walked into the kitchen and my eyes hit the rolled up carpet......my heart sank and I knew....I grabbed the carpet and started to unroll it ......there he was............ motionless. I grabbed him and he was cold................... I can't stop blaming myself. Nissmo was an excellent climber and I should have known he would see it as a mountain to conquer. I should have known the dangers of him wanting to investigate the center dark universe of that rolled up carpet.

Now Sir Woozle lies at my feet depressed. He and Nissmo (August Archive...scroll to the 12th) went through a lot and now I am responsible for him missing his bud. I will always remember Nissmo for his unique characteristics that made me laugh.

He could always be found sleeping in the tub.

He was a great climber and when I was looking for him, calling his name, his little head would pop outta some of the highest places in the house.

He wagged his tail when he got really excited about something.

He would escape from his cage or the room and come running up to me and have this expression on his face of "Hey! Look mom I got out!"

He sometimes looked at me with another expression of thanks for giving him a better home. It was almost like he was asking if he really was getting to live a happier life than what he had before.

It is the last that makes me cry the most.......... it was my fault Nissmo and I am sorry.

Older Model

I had an eye exam today. I knew my eye sight was getting worse but I guess I didn't realize HOW bad. So I got checked for glaucoma, cataracts and because of my high blood pressure they checked to be sure there was no bleeding in the back of the eye and no clots. Clean bill of health there. After the read this line and read that line routine she spoke the words BI-FOCALS! Ugh!
I never thought of myself as getting old but for some reason that word..............bi-focals , sent a reality through my poor soul and I heard the statement "
You ain't 30 honey!"
I looked around to see who said that and realized in came from within.
Oh give me a break....I'm not 80 either!
Oh yea well I saw you checkin out that 28 year old the other day and that is baby meat , girlie-o!
OH SHUT UP! I feel young.
Ya, well the creaks and blurry vision say otherwise. You ain't no sports car anymore
Ya well my old Mazda truck creaked and moaned but it still knew how to go off roadin'

Yah........That's me..........The hell with bein' the fancy shmancy sports car....They're high maintenance, and only good for lookin at. I am more like the well used SUV........I got my dents and dings, some worn parts, but I still know how to have fun, get dirty and play hard when the work is done.

Quick Quips

Yeah its been awhile. Not sure if its laziness or just being uninspired, but for anyone wanting to know what has been going on with me, here are some quick quips:

I have been out boating almost every weekend and my skin color is the tannest it has ever been. For my northern friends, gulf water temps are in the mid to high 80s and weather has still been a hot a humid 90.

I am so ready for the cooler weather.

Peters place was being tented so him and Jen were with me the past week. They tried very hard to pick up after themselves and were pleasant company to have for a week, but I am glad for having my house to myself again.

I am 1 day shy of 90 days at my new job and so far so good. Health benefits kick in October 1st and the first thing I am doing is getting my eyes checked. I am soooooooooo blind! Pay still barely gets me by, but so far I have managed to avoid getting a second job, that might be in part to mooching off of Beach Crawler on the weekends......see girls , BF can be of value....... XOXO :)

Beach Crawler has been super to me.

I haven't seen Fred in a bit and I guess I need to make a permanent week night to meet him at the watering hole to keep up with him......need to get George along too cause I have dearly missed both of them.

The ferrets are lovin the polecat parlour...... they still get put in the cage when I go to work but they love having the roam of the room during the night, and its great when guests are over cause they don't get stuck in their cage and suffer from lack of exercise.

I acquired a laser sailboat from my mother. Its been sadly neglected for a long, long time and needs a lot of work. The hull leaks and I hope we can fix that and make it seaworthy again. It will be so much fun sailing again.

Remembrance

Today I woke up and felt the depression sink over me...... it was 2 years ago today that Pete died. While I have been moving forward with my life there is a part of me that stays back, in the past, holding on. I miss him and I can't dismiss his existence. He is a part of me and he is a part of my son. I believe he watches over us. I miss him. I miss his laugh. I miss his friendship.

Fun -N- Sun

I was out at Anclotte Island yesterday, well another island a little ways from it anyway. During high tide the island is very small and almost non existent, during low tide it is a favorite hangout with boaters of every variety. Its really a group of three sandbars, but a small portion stays exposed, enough for some plants to grow. People go out there and hang out, meet other friends and by and large..... party. Its amazing the gadgets you can buy for boats........... grills, cutting boards and counters that all fit into the rod holes. We grilled on the boat and everyone then wades the food, tents, chairs and beverages onto the island where you just generally have a great time. People bring their dogs and everyone gets along. You can meet up with old friends or make new. Its a definite case of the more the merrier. By noon its a parking lot and nothing but boats anchored side by side by side. Once you "park" your boat ya gotta keep and eye on it. As the tide goes out you occasionally have to move the boat out. One side of the island you have to be really careful, if you don't move fast enough and check on your boat regularly, you may find your self getting beached between 2 sand bars and having to wait for the next high tide.........not a good idea, specially if the next doesn't come until 9PM.

A Little Something Nice to Say

As parents we often have a lot of gripes about our kids, they don't pick up after themselves, they waste electricity, they waste the water, they don't listen, they only think of themselves, they complain about doing chores, etc, etc, etc.
BUT
I must mention two things that my son did that showed me my efforts to teach him have not gone in vain........ that somewhere I did something right............he made me very proud.......

1) They day after Teeki died he called me to see how I was doing. (He later admitted that he took it hard as well and his GF had to console him.)

2) He came by my house and surprised me by taking my truck to the shop where he works and changing my oil, oil filter and air filter because he heard me mention the oil change was 1500 miles past due. Cost to me....... zero dollars.

Teeki

Rainbow Bridge

March 2001 - July 22 2006

Aghast with Horror, Sickened Beyond Belief

As posted on Bay News 9

The St. Petersburg Police Department is looking for a man who allegedly grabbed an 8-year-old girl early Wednesday afternoon.The girl's mother had brought her and her 7-year-old brother to play at Central Oaks Park. St. Petersburg Police spokesman Bill Proffit said the children's mother remembered she had left the stove on. She ran home and the children stayed to play. Almost immediately, the children noticed a stranger so they started home. "Before they could leave the park, the man came up from behind, grabbed her in a bear hug, pushed her down and got on her," Proffit said. The boy ran home to get his mother. Meanwhile, Aaron Chambliss, who was nearby, saw what was happening and rushed to help. "He saw me coming to her rescue and he proceeded to get up and run, but in a split second he changed his mind and jumped back on her before she could get up," Chambliss said. "And that's when I hit full sprint. I was going to catch him. I was going to do something about it." A female motorist also saw what was happening and honked her horn in an attempt to get the suspect off the girl."They saw and instantly perceived that a crime was being committed," Proffitt said. "There was no doubt in their minds and they took action immediately. The blaring of the horn and the running over here actually stopped the man from continuing what he was doing."

*****************************************************************************

No more innocent days for children................. they are long gone. I remember my mother getting fed up with our childish antics and would throw bagged lunches at me and my brother and tell us to get out and not to come home until dinner time. We would promptly go next door and gather up Kevin and Lisa and head out to wherever our feet took us. Sometimes it was deep into the woods and rock hills 2 miles down the road or it could be 2 miles the other direction to the pond. Adventures awaited and we were out to conquer the world. How sad is it that children can no longer know this sense of absolute freedom. No parents around and our imaginations free to run. No one telling you not to climb the cliff, don't swing on that branch, don't get wet, don't throw that, don't pick that up........... Those hours were the best! We were free to do as we pleased and to be what we wanted. The only thing that limited us, was ourselves. Childhood days were glorious.............. not a care in the world.

Why have we allowed sickos and pervs to steal this from our children. I can't even imagine raising a child in this day and age. When Peter was growing up, by 8 he was able to wander the neighborhood with his friends, 1 block over and 3 blocks down, if you went inside a friends house you called me to let me know. I had wished that my son could have experienced a neighborhood like mine....not the cement playgrounds we had come to live in. That was 11 years ago........ and he is a boy....... but even today boys are just as much at risk. Why can't we teach criminals that want to prey on our children that this won't be tolerated. Why can't we maim them, castrate them, brand them with a "P" or just kill them?

Why can't we take back what belongs to our children......... innocence, imagination, and fun, all with no cares, and no worries.

How sad that children can't experience childhood the way we did. It makes me cry.

Sounds of the Night

I have fond memories of visits to my grandparent in Massachusetts. Our visits were often for several days and one of my sweet memories of my grandfather was his snoring. My grandparents were in the room at the end of the hall, but his snoring could be heard 'round the world. Funny thing is I took comfort in the sound of his deep sleep sounds. They were enough to wake me, give me a sense of security, and lull me back to sleep. So when is it that this became the annoying racket that disturbed my rest and sent me to the couch to sleep? I can't say I truly remember. I remember my ex snoring and I hated it, but was that only once I came to loath him? Did I carry that then to my next relationship with Pete? I often woke up and gave him a gentle shove to roll over......sometimes he was so tired that he only immediately started again and I would, once again, move to the couch. I can't remember.................. I can't remember when it went from comfort to disdain......................... I do know that lately when a certain person falls into deep lala land, he too snores (tho he may deny it) and while it wakes me up, I find myself contently drifting back off to sleep.

Quick Quips

The rain has finally come to Florida and the afternoon weather pattern has settled in. No sooner have I finished mowing the lawn and its ready for another cut.

The ferrets are very happy with their room. My son has made the statement that it seems he couldn't move out fast enough for me. I replied that it wasn't so much him that I was anxiuos to have move out and disappear, as I was the shit hole he was living in. (Ew ew ew the sludge ate through gloves)

I have another stray cat that has adopted me. She shows up on the doorstep when she can't find enough to eat. She also has a crush on Snickers. Mittens, the old man still shows up too.

The house is quiet without Heidi. Sergei misses her. He spent 2 days looking for her and crying.

I hate the fact I didn't get to make my annual July trip to visit my dad in VA. I think he was more disappointed

I am beside myself that I can't visit Pete in August. Its really tearing me up. Maybe I should spend the money and make it a short, and quick weekend trip anyway.

A New Room

With my son out of the house I wanted to clean his toxic waste site of a room, ASAP. By Thursday I was donning the hazmat suit and digging around in the debris. In total I had nearly 2 full dumpsters (150 gallon size) of trash, and I do mean trash! It took me a total of 14 hours to go through all the garbage that littered the space. The room was last painted 6 years ago when I moved in. 3 walls were white and one wall and all the trim had been done in Detroit Redwings red, Peter was a redwings fan. Red and white rope lights now only half hung from the ceiling and the white paint was dingy, splotchy and full of holes from the two million pictures, posters and car parts that Peter had hung on the walls. I volunteered BC to help me paint.................... he even helped pick out the colors............. of course his motivation to help me get this room cleaned up was that I couldn't spend any weekends at his place until I had a room that the ferrets could be free in to run around and play in for 2 days. So we set to work. First we pulled down the sagging rope lights and peeled the glue off the ceiling. We primed and painted the walls and trim. Once the paint had dried we put shelves up in the room and put the futon and coffee table in place. We removed the door and since it was in such bad shape decided to cut it in half and finish the top with a shelf to give people something to lean on for ther viewing comfort. This took us all day Saturday and Sunday. On Monday, after the paint had time to cure and there was no longer that "new paint" smell, we moved the ferret's cage in the room. I brought in their litter boxes, auto feeder, auto watering dish and their gazillion toys and tunnels. Finishing touch was a sign above the door that reads "Polecat Parlour" Oh such happy ferrets I have! I still let them run the house while I am home and put them in the cage at night or while at work, but if guests come over or if I want to disappear for 2 days, they have a ferret friendly room to play in and get all their daily exercise and the room can double as a guest room should some need to stay a night....there is the futon and in the closet (doors are removed and curtains hung) you will find a tv, shelves, some drawers and a radio........who could ask for more?

Fireworks and a Happy 4th

Fireworks make me happy.
As a little girl I was always thrilled with them.
I find them beautiful and amazing to watch.
A little less than 12 years ago I met Claude. He is a unique individual. His personality is caring and loving with a touch of a dirty old man. He says what’s on his mind. He had been a fireman quite a while back and still volunteers time. He has the typical fireman trait…….he loves to play in fire.......... whether it be putting it out or creating it. So imagine a fireman with a pyrotechnics license. What’s this got to do with fireworks? I often get to be right there in the staging area when Claude is doing a show. Peter helps him set up and light up. Anyway, fireworks from the staging area is a different experience. They are directly overhead. and your best viewing position is to be flat on your back looking up to the sky. As the fireworks explode above you, they are larger and brighter. As they fall, it is like having shooting stars all around you or driving quickly through a star field. When the larger rockets are sent off you feel the percussion blow over you. It adds a different element to the viewing, not only do you have heightened sight and sound you now have add the sense of touch. You feel, see and hear the fireworks in a way that completely engulfs you and draws you in. What a way to watch them! Add in the patriotic music and it would bring a tear to any red blooded American.

Heidi

My son and his girlfriend are moving into a new apartment out on the beach. He has been staying with me while they wait for the current tenants to vacate. He has had with them their new kitten. She came into this house a very shy and scared little girl. She and he siblings were rescued from the hull of a boat and it has taken some time for her to warm up to humans. She fell in love with Sergei and has been his shadow since week two. She now sleeps in bed with me and will think nothing of cuddling up to me. She has come a long way and I will miss her when she moves out tomorrow to go with my son to their new digs. It has been wonderful watching her transformation from the shy kitten that coward under the bed and in the closet to the outgoing playful and mischievous thing she has become. Maybe she was the another reason for my unemployment...........

Employed

I am once again among the employed!

Here are some stats for you.

Fired May 19
Hired June 15
19 working days
93 resumes sent out
3 over the phone interviews
6 face to face interviews
Average pay being offered - $31,000.00 yearly
Unemployment pay - $275.00 a week (Yah can you believe that!)

What I felt was useless and unproductive. Depressed about not being able to find a job and worried about no income and all the things with it like losing the house etc....... I still need to eventually find a second job. The employment I took will pay the household bills but does not give me enough money for groceries, gas and play.

Lesson learned - Unemployment sucks and job hunting sucks more.........

Moving Along

I once stated that I couldn't imagine a long term or permanent relationship with anyone who wasn't also my best friend. I think many people end up married and never accomplish this. They may love one another, but they never develop that bond where they can talk to each other easily about everything. You know.....fears, hopes, dreams, emotions, feelings, what made me laugh today, the latest gossip, a stupid joke, a trivial event that occurred, I had this really random thought, etc...etc...etc. Nothing is too trite to mention and no topic is uncomfortable. I realize that this bond or type of friendship does not appear overnight. It is worked at and developed over many, many months and sometimes years.

Now why did I bring this up?

Last weekend I was over at BC's place. A home project has loomed overhead for several months at his place and on Saturday evening when asked what I wanted to do on Sunday, I said, " Let's attack the garage." Response back.......a happy and firm.....ok! So on Sunday morning...err... late morning we cleaned out the garage and organized it so that one sleek green beemer could now fit into the garage. The importance of this you ask? Well for the first time, other than cooking a meal, which also plays into all of this, we worked together on something that required team work and cooperation. During this time trivial conversation occurred as well as suggestions to each other, and in a way, constructive criticism on if one plan or organization was better than another. The interaction it takes to work together on something is different than the interaction people have over eating dinner, watching tv, driving, or being out on a date. I think you see each other in a different light. Soooooo with that in mind, for the first time since we started dating, I felt like we were well on our way to developing a friendship.

My Space

So what is the big deal about My Space? What has made it so popular to hang out on? I checked out my sons page and his GF's page and a the pages of a few of my adult friends. Quite frankly I don't see what is so "cool" about it. From what I see its a lot of fake plastic people and grown up wannabes.
Here is what I see:
1. Teenagers ( a lot of 13 and 14 year olds) trying to be hot and sexy and looking 21. Nothing like attracting the pervs
2. A bunch of teenagers trash talking each other.
3. Lots of woman displaying themselves like pieces of meat for sale.
4. Lots of men with really stupid lines trying to be macho.
5. Women putting their pictures on the pages of men they have never met and calling them a "friend"
Whats so cool about all that? I don't see the attraction. I'll just stick to the simple thoughts and ramblings.