Belief and Faith

We grow up being taught that there is a heaven and a hell. We hope that we live a good enough life to go to heaven. We are also taught that we will meet up with those that we love when it is our turn to cross over. If you read books about the after life we find that our loved ones are waiting for us on the other side to show us the way. John Edwards talks to those that have passed. I was raised with these beliefs and never questioned that it was any other way. I have lost friends and relatives and often have found myself talking to one or the other at times. So why do I now question these beliefs? Is it because someone, so close to me, has passed on? Or is it that I am not doubting what I was taught, but that I want them to hold true more than ever?
And on another note, when we go to heaven....do we go looking like we are at the time of our death, or do we get to choose to be our younger selves. Could it be that we are simply that whispy spirit but we can recognize others just from their prescence?

Coming Together

I was thinking back on how meeting Pete, lead me to meeting other people. It seems that when a new person comes in to our lives they bring along others that we don't think about....friends and associated in tow, if you will. Often these relationships are short lived and these folks eventually disappear out of our lives . I met several through Pete whom over the years I have talked to on numerous occasions, often to gang up on him and endlessly tease him.It was only through his funeral that I finally met them face to face. It was an instant connection and I fell in love with his friends from the past. The gift of gab was natural and it was as if his past had met the present and tied us all together. I hope between the exchanged stories they felt the same. It's as if I now knew his entire life from child hood to adult hood, and I got to know his 2 closest long time friends. He brought us together and in keeping in touch, we keep him alive, and through continuing our relationship he continues to live on. I am sure he is smiling down upon us....... and so it goes.........

Hero

Hero

May 15th 1969 to August 26th 2004

Often times people are lucky enough to meet their soul mate, their other half, their knight in shining armour. I was blessed enough to find my hero. I met him in a time of my life where critical decisions had to be made. It was often his support and words that got me through. I found in him, a rock for strength and a place to rest when weary. He gave my son self esteem and self confidence when he had none. He was always coming to my rescue.......locked out of the car, locked out of the house, a broken AC, electrical work, help with building things and playing chauffer to my son and his friends, always being there for me. He was my hero when he took on the job of firefighter. I was never so proud. And he was my hero when he promised everything would be ok after Hurricane Charley. He was my boyfriend, and formost, my best friend, a best friend as it was truly meant to be. For the time I got to spend with him I am truly grateful, 9 years of knowing him and 8 years of being his girlfriend, sharing our lives, thoughts, and hopes for the future. My life shall truly be a sadder one without him. Watch over me, Pete, and continue to be my hero.

Express

Isn't it funny how you just assume that close friends and family will be around as long as you are? We just think that a child, friend or spouse will be with us while we grow old. In doing this we forget to tell them we love them and care about them. We get into arguments and think nothing of slamming the door as we go off to work or school, with the last words we spoke being harsh. We let small things fester inside us until we are annoyed with each other all the time or we just let relationships fall apart because they are too hard to maintain. Don't let this happen. Turn to the folks you love and care about and let them know. Maintain the friendships that mean so much to you and don't let arguments leave you saying mean things to each other before you part your seperate ways for the day. Thank God my last face to face actions with Pete were good memories. Hurricane Charley had forced me to evacuate, as my home is in a low level area, I stayed at his new home of a month and a half. That friday as I tried to drift off to sleep he held me close and promised me everything would be ok, and that should my house be destroyed, we would salvage what we could and I and my son would move back in with him.....sharing his house this time. Well we got lucky and the storm hit south, so on Sunday he came and helped me take down the boards and clean the house.........when all was over I gave him a big hug and told him I appreciated his help. He gave me a quick kiss and said "anytime, you know that"........................ That was the last face to face........we talked several times on the phone and through IM, but 11 days later he would be gone. While the last time seeing him was good and the words we spoke on the phone and through IM were good. I only wish I had spoken those words.........I love you. We never say this enough to our family and almost would never say it to a close friend, but we need to, because tomorrow comes and tomorrow could briing a tragic loss. So to my dearest friends who have been supporting me these last 2 weeks...thanks........and I love you for being there, and Pete, if you can hear me or read my words....I love you.