So today I went out on my first date since Pete passed.
He was very nice and very sweet and very much the gentlemen. He had business in Sarasota so we went down there while he took pictures of real estate( he is a property appraiser) and then we hit the restaurants and did some bar hopping in Longboat Key. What I thought was going to be a 5-hour day turned into 9. I had a really nice time, but I got home and once alone I cried. Going on this date was admitting to myself that Pete wasn't ever coming back. It was admitting that, that part of my life was gone and that, that part of my life was over. It is the hardest thing I have ever had to acknowledge. I hate they way I feel. I hate saying goodbye. I know that no one will ever take his place, but it hurts knowing that all I wanted will never be and that the person I saw myself growing old with won’t be sitting in the chair next to me in 30 years reminiscing over the silly little things in life. I want to move forward but I still find it painful to let go of the past. Love, interrupted, and stolen, does not pass quietly.
Sunday, February 26, 2006
Monday, February 20, 2006
Blog Stalking
Blog Stalking
I thought I was being original, but have found others who have recently discovered the act as well.
I have seen two instances.
One just posts nasty grams on the same blog.
The other is a bit more agressive. She not only comments on his blog but goes to his usual reads and leaves comments there as well. Its kinda like a "here I am, all the same places as you"
Weird what people do to get attention...................
I thought I was being original, but have found others who have recently discovered the act as well.
I have seen two instances.
One just posts nasty grams on the same blog.
The other is a bit more agressive. She not only comments on his blog but goes to his usual reads and leaves comments there as well. Its kinda like a "here I am, all the same places as you"
Weird what people do to get attention...................
Sunday, February 19, 2006
Burning Down the House (almost) and the Bank Account
Ouch!
What a weekend.
It started Thursday night and just continued on. The hot water heater was on its way out but I figured it would make it until Saturday when I had a new one coming. This proved wrong. Thursday night I noticed a dimming of the lights which is nothing unusual for this old neighborhood., but it did seem more tham usual. I stood at the sink washing dishes when there was a pop and sparks came flying out of the cabinet where the heater is kept. So much for the hot water heater lasting. I flipped the breaker for it and went about my business. The lights went out and then came on after a minute. This continued for quite a while so I called the electric company and they said they would be by in the morning.
Morning!!
I could have ashes by then!
I contemplated the situation and we flipped the breakers for everything but the fridge. In the morning I called and electrician. He showed up around 10AM and went to work. Progress Energy came out and replaced the arrial connction to the house it it was melted. Hmmm that sounds good. After 5 hours the electrician found a UPS system going bad which had started sending surges back through the electrical system and eventually burned out the breaker for that section of the house. He began his repairs and once completed we sat around for 30 minutes with all the house lights on….. not even a flicker. I was thrilled so I wrote a painful check and away he went. Night came and as I watched tv I noticed a dimming in the lights….. 45 minutes passed and nothing. OK it was my imagination and I was being parinoid, so I relaxed once again. Oooops, lights out. More like SHIT!!! So once again when we went to bed everything was turned off at the box except the fridge. I got up early on Saturday and tried the electrician. No answer , so I left a voice mail. After an hour there had been no call back so I called another that said they worked Saturdays at the regular rate. While I was waiting on him to arrive the plumber showed up to put in the heater. I had an uneasiness about him….he was dirty or odd looking, and no strange quirks, he just didn’t make me comfortable. Well he worked on getting the old one out and when he attempted to put the new one in it didn’t fit. Not a problem he says, I’ll just get a smaller one. So I went from a 40 gallon down to a 30 gallon. The second arrived and it did not fit either.
OK,….. DAMN!!!
So he took this one back out to his truck and says…….sorry there is nothing more I can do for you today and states he will have the office call me on Monday to set up an appointment for later next week.
HUH!!??
He says he capped off the pipes and with that leaves.
Now I am a little upset at this and go to rinse out a glass. As I turn on the water it comes spewing out from the suposidly capped pipes
NOW I WS REALLY MAD!
I called Home Depot installation and tried not to yell as it was not that poor persons fault. But let them know that I was not happy, was really pissed off and wanted to have them remove the charge from my card as I had no hot water heater at my house and nothing was installed. Home Depot, NEVER AGAIN! (A previous attempt with H.D.) At this point the new electrician showed up and he went to work on finding the trouble and I called a plumber that my mother usually used. He was kind enough to come out and properly take measurements and then capped off the lines correctly. He apologized that he could not get me a heater until Monday, but promised he would get prices and give me an estimate on Monday and if someone would be home, would install it that day as well.
Well that was certainly better than the next weekend. I thanked him and he left.
Then the electrician tells me he believes he has found the problem and that he can fix it easily.
Thank God!
It was the main breaker. While the first electrician had bee correct is his diagnosis, he did not find all of the bad parts. A newly installed main breaker and another check and I am fixed, well except for no hot water.
Electricians total???? $652.38 and I still have a hot water heater to buy and a plumber to pay.
What a weekend.
It started Thursday night and just continued on. The hot water heater was on its way out but I figured it would make it until Saturday when I had a new one coming. This proved wrong. Thursday night I noticed a dimming of the lights which is nothing unusual for this old neighborhood., but it did seem more tham usual. I stood at the sink washing dishes when there was a pop and sparks came flying out of the cabinet where the heater is kept. So much for the hot water heater lasting. I flipped the breaker for it and went about my business. The lights went out and then came on after a minute. This continued for quite a while so I called the electric company and they said they would be by in the morning.
Morning!!
I could have ashes by then!
I contemplated the situation and we flipped the breakers for everything but the fridge. In the morning I called and electrician. He showed up around 10AM and went to work. Progress Energy came out and replaced the arrial connction to the house it it was melted. Hmmm that sounds good. After 5 hours the electrician found a UPS system going bad which had started sending surges back through the electrical system and eventually burned out the breaker for that section of the house. He began his repairs and once completed we sat around for 30 minutes with all the house lights on….. not even a flicker. I was thrilled so I wrote a painful check and away he went. Night came and as I watched tv I noticed a dimming in the lights….. 45 minutes passed and nothing. OK it was my imagination and I was being parinoid, so I relaxed once again. Oooops, lights out. More like SHIT!!! So once again when we went to bed everything was turned off at the box except the fridge. I got up early on Saturday and tried the electrician. No answer , so I left a voice mail. After an hour there had been no call back so I called another that said they worked Saturdays at the regular rate. While I was waiting on him to arrive the plumber showed up to put in the heater. I had an uneasiness about him….he was dirty or odd looking, and no strange quirks, he just didn’t make me comfortable. Well he worked on getting the old one out and when he attempted to put the new one in it didn’t fit. Not a problem he says, I’ll just get a smaller one. So I went from a 40 gallon down to a 30 gallon. The second arrived and it did not fit either.
OK,….. DAMN!!!
So he took this one back out to his truck and says…….sorry there is nothing more I can do for you today and states he will have the office call me on Monday to set up an appointment for later next week.
HUH!!??
He says he capped off the pipes and with that leaves.
Now I am a little upset at this and go to rinse out a glass. As I turn on the water it comes spewing out from the suposidly capped pipes
NOW I WS REALLY MAD!
I called Home Depot installation and tried not to yell as it was not that poor persons fault. But let them know that I was not happy, was really pissed off and wanted to have them remove the charge from my card as I had no hot water heater at my house and nothing was installed. Home Depot, NEVER AGAIN! (A previous attempt with H.D.) At this point the new electrician showed up and he went to work on finding the trouble and I called a plumber that my mother usually used. He was kind enough to come out and properly take measurements and then capped off the lines correctly. He apologized that he could not get me a heater until Monday, but promised he would get prices and give me an estimate on Monday and if someone would be home, would install it that day as well.
Well that was certainly better than the next weekend. I thanked him and he left.
Then the electrician tells me he believes he has found the problem and that he can fix it easily.
Thank God!
It was the main breaker. While the first electrician had bee correct is his diagnosis, he did not find all of the bad parts. A newly installed main breaker and another check and I am fixed, well except for no hot water.
Electricians total???? $652.38 and I still have a hot water heater to buy and a plumber to pay.
Monday, February 13, 2006
Quick Quips and Rambling Thoughts
- This constant hot, cold hot, cold weather is giving me such bad sinus headaches. I wish mother nature would make up her mind. Here again its in the high 30’s to low 40s and by Thursday it will be back up to the 80s. Me head just wants to explode.
- This morning I was getting ready for work and as I made my breakfast, I noticed a concert of crunching sounds. I turned to look and there were all six ferrets with their heads in the food bowls eating kibble. I rather enjoyed the sound and sat down at a chair in the kitchen and joined in with my Kashi cereal.
- I wish I were musically inclined. I tried playing the flute in grade school and then tried the piano and guitar. I eventually realized that I just didn’t have the coordination to make both hands do two different things. I also found that I just couldn’t read music. I next tried singing. I found that it was best to contain that to my car when alone. What I don’t understand is my father played the violin and my mother the piano. (They never played professionally but was enjoyable to listen to.) My uncle on, my fathers side, has a music shop and recording studio and all his kids play an assortred amount of instruments very well. I wish they hadn’t horded all the musical genes. Maybe that’s why I so thouroughly enjoy listening, I appreciate it more because of my lack of ability.
- I finally decided on some colors for my ugly kitchen spruce up……no I gotta get the right mindset to do it.
Thursday, February 09, 2006
Dislike Found
Now remember I work in an office of 4 people.
OK, so after 5 months on my job I tripped over my first speedbump at work and found something I don't like. I don't like the isolation that I feel has been forced upon me. I got in trouble at work today for sending out personal e-mails and receiving them. In my 5 months I am guilty of sending or recieving 128 personal e-mails. If you break that down, into groups of 2, because usually if you give, you get, and if you get, you give, you know, each e-mail sent or received elicits at least one response. So, I had 64 exchanges of information, at a maximum, in 5 months. For this, I got threatened to correct my ways, or miss my next evaluation raise. Nice........... no e-mail correspondence with non business personnel, no IMs with anyone, and limited personal calls to family members. While your at it just throw me into solitary confinement.
OK, so after 5 months on my job I tripped over my first speedbump at work and found something I don't like. I don't like the isolation that I feel has been forced upon me. I got in trouble at work today for sending out personal e-mails and receiving them. In my 5 months I am guilty of sending or recieving 128 personal e-mails. If you break that down, into groups of 2, because usually if you give, you get, and if you get, you give, you know, each e-mail sent or received elicits at least one response. So, I had 64 exchanges of information, at a maximum, in 5 months. For this, I got threatened to correct my ways, or miss my next evaluation raise. Nice........... no e-mail correspondence with non business personnel, no IMs with anyone, and limited personal calls to family members. While your at it just throw me into solitary confinement.
Thursday, February 02, 2006
Love at First Sight
Today a discussion came up of love at first sight. The question set forth was, did you believe in it. My response was a strong "Yes!"
Peter was about 7. It was a Saturday morning and he was raring to go to his hockey skating lesson. So in the car and off to the rink we went. We got there and I helped Peter get his skates on and out to the ice. I took my usual place in the stands to watch. John, his skating coach was out there and so was a new coach. I stared at him and watched him almost the entire lesson. A girlish giddiness came over me and I couldn't help but laugh. I felt butterflies! This was just silliness, but it felt nice as I was at a point in my marriage where even the tought of my husbands touch made my skin crawl. After his lesson we always stayed for the public skate so Peter could practice what he had just learned. As I turned to walk out to the front desk I almost ran into this new coach.
"Um sorry, excuse me" (Damn I am such a dork)
He smailed and continued through the door to the outer lobby.
Peter and I got on the ice to skate and who else should come skating out? I stood still and once again, came the butterflies. All I could think was "don't fall, don't fall" And then he skated over to one of the 20ish girls, gave her a hug and a kiss, and disappointment spread throughout. I began to scold myself...."How silly is this!?" Here I am mooning over a guy I don't even know, he has a girlfriend and I am still married to an ass! What is wrong with me!
With that I turned back to my son and helped him through the things he had learned and encouraged him to keep trying when he messed up and fell. The next thing I knew there was a voice from behind. "Here, let me show you" and the new coach moved closer to Peter and demonstrated the manueuver he was trying to conquer. He spent about 3 minutes with Peter and then turned and introduced himself, "Hi, I'm Pete." I was glad it was cold in there because the pinkness in my cheeks could be blamed on the cool temperature in the rink. I looked in his face and knew I saw him in my future.
The butterflies hung around for a long, long time, and so did Pete.
Peter was about 7. It was a Saturday morning and he was raring to go to his hockey skating lesson. So in the car and off to the rink we went. We got there and I helped Peter get his skates on and out to the ice. I took my usual place in the stands to watch. John, his skating coach was out there and so was a new coach. I stared at him and watched him almost the entire lesson. A girlish giddiness came over me and I couldn't help but laugh. I felt butterflies! This was just silliness, but it felt nice as I was at a point in my marriage where even the tought of my husbands touch made my skin crawl. After his lesson we always stayed for the public skate so Peter could practice what he had just learned. As I turned to walk out to the front desk I almost ran into this new coach.
"Um sorry, excuse me" (Damn I am such a dork)
He smailed and continued through the door to the outer lobby.
Peter and I got on the ice to skate and who else should come skating out? I stood still and once again, came the butterflies. All I could think was "don't fall, don't fall" And then he skated over to one of the 20ish girls, gave her a hug and a kiss, and disappointment spread throughout. I began to scold myself...."How silly is this!?" Here I am mooning over a guy I don't even know, he has a girlfriend and I am still married to an ass! What is wrong with me!
With that I turned back to my son and helped him through the things he had learned and encouraged him to keep trying when he messed up and fell. The next thing I knew there was a voice from behind. "Here, let me show you" and the new coach moved closer to Peter and demonstrated the manueuver he was trying to conquer. He spent about 3 minutes with Peter and then turned and introduced himself, "Hi, I'm Pete." I was glad it was cold in there because the pinkness in my cheeks could be blamed on the cool temperature in the rink. I looked in his face and knew I saw him in my future.
The butterflies hung around for a long, long time, and so did Pete.
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