Monday, January 19, 2009

Quick Quips

New Kit-tah in da house.....ya just what I need another critter, but it DID adopt us and it goes with Peter when he moves out.

I see so many shallow people these days that are only concerned with outward appearances. What happens to all the "beautiful people" when they turn 50? Have they cosmetically altered themselves so much that they can no longer smile, raise an eyebrow, or sit?

Why do people have to do things out of character to tell you something without actually telling you? Someone e-mailed me a "fun survey" to fill out and send back to them and pass on....even tho they have never sent me one before. I hate these things...send me jokes...cool pics...funny stories or awesome videos, but can the surveys. So any way, whats like the first question.... significant other....and it is filled out with a name. Was this your way of telling me you have a GF now. "HAHA look at me I have someone and your alone"????
Delete
That button is so cool...wouldn't it be nice if it worked on everything?
But "us" is such past history that these tactics have no affect on me. So what. If ya got yourself a GF and ya have a deep desire to tell me, then just spit it out....... and then ask yourself why you have such an urge to tell me.

Healthcare....I got coverage from work and its....ok... I won't complain because right now work pays "in full" for benefits. But my son..... he works for a company that provides a service in healthcare and his sucks...... He has $1400.00 out of pocket deductible....and to top it off......the service he provides....it isn't covered by his insurance. Go figure that one. Is this country messed up or what?

WTF....who gives a crap about what kind of dog Obama is bringing to the White House....but did I hear him say he was thinking about a shelter dog because it would be a "mutt" like him...wait.....wait...... did he actually for once, not play of the "first African American "president theme? After all he IS half white, but it seems that so many Americans conveniently forget that side of his heritage. I don't care if your black, white, red or purple......just don't misrepresent who you are to get what you want.

Lastly....... I pondered the thought of rigging up a hidden speaker at my front door so that when religious fanatics come a knockin, I can do Amityville horror impression and whisper "GEEET OOOOOOUT!!"

Thursday, January 08, 2009

Choices

I hadn't seen my father-once-in -law in a tad over a year. He moved out of state and we only heard from him via card at Christmas. The past holiday card informed us he was back in town. I got his number from Nick, my Nephew (once -in-law) I called him and asked him what the deal was....for those that know me, you know how direct and to the point I can be. Pop explained that he had fled, fled Florida to hide from his sons, my ex and of course his brother, but had been back in town for some time. It seems the sister-once -in -law knew it and kept it a secret, even from her boys. I can't blame pop...I would run too....well ,I guess I did......... Pop always kept Peters and my whereabouts from the old ex. Pop has been good to us. He is a good guy. Sadly two of his three kids turned out to be a loser and a semi loser. I'll focus on the loser.
Eight years of marriage was all I could take. I never should have let it last that long, but we all learn our lessons in our own time and we each have to find our own strength to say enough is enough. Pop filled me in on the latest antics of the ex. He learned pop was back in town a month ago....he showed up on his doorstep, again asking for a handout. He was told the bank was forever closed. He chose the life he was living and he was not going to support his habit...or habits any longer. Done, finis....over. I was told that the ex was up to 265 lbs, ragged looking, living in a slummy building with 2 or 33 other guys. They were all alcoholics and hooked on crack. I knew the ex had been using for sometime. Apparently he started using after meeting his GF who he has been with longer than our marriage lasted. (Pops tells me she is in the hospital partially paralyzed from a seizure brought on by crack use.) I know there is also a warrant out for his arrest for writing bad checks and failure to appear. He holds no job.....go figure.
This all led me to think about strength of character, choices and having the courage to say no. How is it, or what is it that gives a person who finds them surrounded by the evils, say no? No! No! NO! When we were married and he started drinking to much...started using pot.... what was it about me that could say no, I don't want it? If I had stayed with him, would I have eventually fallen onto the same path? For so long, I could not say no to his abuse, but why could I say no to his drugs? What made me responsible and not him? We both owned the same home. We both had the same son. We both had steady jobs. Well, not so much a steady job for him when I left...by then he was on his third job in as many years.
I guess it scares me that I could have followed him. I could have been living on the streets and I could be hooked on drugs. It scares me even more what would have happened to Peter. Maybe Peter was my strength.......after all........I let my husband beat me, but the first time I saw signs that Peter would be his next victim, I was outta there....gone...done...finis. Never looked back.

Thursday, January 01, 2009

Bringing In the New Year


Well this was the first New Years Eve in a long long time that we didn't go out to Claude's house. He had told Peter that due to financial reasons he was not having a party or shooting off fireworks over the lake. So what to do??? Well Peter was working so I was on my own. At first I thought I would just make it an early night and hit the hay around 10 PM. As the night went on I thought I would go outside and listen to all the revellers in the neighborhood. There were quite a few parties going on and the neighborhood was rather noisy. Being a little on the chilly side I stoked up a fire in the outdoor hearth and grabbed a bottle of red wine.. I sat sipping my wine and listened. Laughter and conversation was all around. Fireworks were going off. Some just noise makers and some that added color to the night sky.


I looked into the flames and contemplated the past year. Not the best, rather crappy......but certainly not the worst. I lost Angel to cancer, Sir Woozle to Adrenal, Lielah was diagnosed with Adrenal and Pheelia diagnosed with lymphoma. Lots of money out the door on vet bills. Nothing that I regret though.... only that all the assistance and meds I paid for didn't help on two of my fur kids. Lielah is doing well on her Lupron injections, Pheelia.....well...... everyday she is with me is a blessing. All I can do is smother her with love and kisses. I doubt she will make it through an entire year.


Money...still an issue..... I wish I could make the money I was making at MCI....but I don't and with the economy they way it is, I am thankful to have a job that pays the bills, keeps a roof over my head and food on the table and in the cages. Many people don't have that. The folks I work for are also really good people. Sure beats the two assholes at Singlepoint who don't know how to be nice and treat employees as slaves.


I had a good visit with Dad in July, even tho the older bro had to be a jerk for an evening. Those trips are always great and I am thankful for every added year my father is around that I can make those trips. I am glad my father and I were able to mend fences.


Peter found his way. This is really a good thing. He went to school, studied and did well. He graduated an EMT and hopefully in 2009 he will get his state certification.


I decided to write all my thoughts down on paper on what I wanted 2009 to be for me and others. I didn't write down anything specific like..... I want to make more money....instead I would write it as I would like things to be financially easier...... or less stressful, etc. I wrote thoughts to loved ones that have passed on. When done, I placed the paper into the fire and watched as it burned....turned to ash and smoke and drifted to the sky and heaven above. I had heard some Indian tribes had done this as form of prayer......sending words direct to heaven and gods above. Maybe this would work......couldn't hurt to try.


To my three closest friends who I never got to see enough of this past year.... I hope the new year is all you want it to be. I hope you find it prosperous and emotionally fulfilling. I appreciate the friendship and support even if we don't get together as much as we should and as often as we might like.


To all my ferret friends, I wish good health upon you and your small charges. I hope 2009 brings much less heartache and a lot more dooks and wardances.




Happy New Year to all, may it be better than the last.