Monday, January 17, 2005

Why Do We Wait?

I have a friend, who's marriage has been in turmoil for quite a while now. 6 to 7 months ago I would of told her to dump the husband and make herself happy. Today it would be different. Why you may ask..... because I have learned something, or at least gotten a better understanding of something. That, being forgiveness.
Why is it that when a person we love passes, we can forgive them for everything? I started to think back to the people I have lost in my life, some acquaintances, some friends, and a personal hero. When they passed on, the petty arguments and fights passed with them. They were forgotten. Things like harsh words, lies, indiscretions, deception and aggravating traits no longer mattered. The pettiness was gone and the only thing I could remember were the fond memories, and the things that were good. I would guess then, that once these unpleasantries are stripped away, it is our true feelings that are felt.
If this is the case................maybe we need to learn forgiveness before death. If we can forgive those that have gone on, then why can't we learn to forgive the living? It seems we need to learn to dig beneath the years of dirt and look at what we had in the beginning. Sometimes we slip, and sometimes we falter.......... wouldn't it be nice to know that those mistakes could be worked through and then maybe we could learn from both the mistake and the kindness of being forgiven.

1 comment:

Sanity Lost said...

I know that there are somethings out there that just are going to ruin a relationship. They are just too destructive. My ex would be a perfect example. He was physically abusive, a liar, and alcoholic............ I would never dream mending that relationship, but I have forgiven him for the things he did to me. Grudges destroy in their own way. I think that we need to give more thought to what we are willing to walk away from. Repeated indiscretions is one thing, but does one indiscretion warrant throwing away a marriage? I know it is up to each individual but maybe we are to willing to walk away from a problem because we don't want to deal with it. As for Lindsey, well that was a smart decision........and I know there was a lot of thought in that.