Thursday, December 22, 2005

My Glass Menagerie

I was at home on a weekend and was watching tv. It was about 1 in the morning, and I heard footsteps coming up the stairs of our condo and new who it was. Not wanting to deal with him I turned off the tv and booked for the bedroom. I didn't make it. The door opened and in came my drunk husband. This was never a pleasant scene.
"I see your up. I'm hungry. Fix me some fuckin eggs and bacon!"
" Its really late. I was just heading to bed."
"I said, fix me some fuckin eggs and bacon!"
Not wanting to start anything I obliged. I went into the kitchen cooked the bacon and then the eggs, runny, sunny side over. I handed the plate to him and was about to make it to the bedroom door when a plate went whizzing by me and splattered me with egg yoke.
" GOD DAMN IT!! You over cooked them!" A one sided argument pursued. I knew it was a lost cause. When it got like this only one thing followed. This night he chose to break things that meant something to me. 6 years earlier my brother had given me a hand blown glass unicorn. It wasn't the average type that you find in the stands at the mall. This one was different. It was made from clear glass and very intricate. To give it texture the artisan had done spiral curls with the glass. The mane was made of whispy leaf like pieces, and the tail of individual hairlike stands. It was absolutely beautiful. It was mounted on a polished piece of wood and incased in a glass box with a mirrored background. It sat on the highboy in the living room. Michael comtinued to yell. He was walking toward me and I was preparing for what was to come, Instead he grabbed the treasured unicorn off the highboy and flung it accross the room. I could only gasp and watch it hit the wall. My heart was crushed. You could hear the glass as it shattered inside the box. It sounded like crystal that exploded from a singers perfect high pitched note. As it hit the ground I ran for it. The box itself hadn't broken but the unicorn was destroyed. It was nothing but shards of glass. I cried and I cried hard. I knew he was standing behind me taking pleasure in my pain. I couldn't look at him and was too frightened to turn around. As I cried, I heard the front door open and then shut. He was gone........... I picked up what was left and went to the bedroom. I placed the box on the night stand and eventually fell off to sleep. In the morning I was still alone. I layed in bed as the morning sun came through the window. I rolled over to look at my precious unicorn. Life had srtuck another blow. I couldn't help but think how my life was just like the unicorns. It was nothing like I thought it would be. Why was I stuck in this life. A life of shards that couldn't be put back together. A life of pain. A life reduced to no worth. As I was contemplating the wrong ways out of the life I had come to know, the sunlight from the window hit the remains of the unicorn. I watched as brilliant colors danced and sparkled across the pile of broken glass. I was fascinated and thought of diamonds. As the sunlight moved off the box, I was amazed that even broken glass could transform itself into something else of beauty....... and then, I realized that even my life, held hope for transformation into something of worth and value. I just had to find it.

2 comments:

MaxieCat said...

You got spammed - ouch...

I must say, this entry had me spellbound. You really had me hooked and the story was mesmorizing. The detail you put into the unicorn and the way you felt about it's destruction are incredible.

Your ex sounds like a real asshole. Peter is lucky that you took him away from all of that. Little kids don't need to see that or be raised in that type of environment.

Just curious, how long after this did you leave?

Sanity Lost said...

That wasn't just spam - Geez that was a full page add!

To answer your question it was another 3 years.