Choices

I hadn't seen my father-once-in -law in a tad over a year. He moved out of state and we only heard from him via card at Christmas. The past holiday card informed us he was back in town. I got his number from Nick, my Nephew (once -in-law) I called him and asked him what the deal was....for those that know me, you know how direct and to the point I can be. Pop explained that he had fled, fled Florida to hide from his sons, my ex and of course his brother, but had been back in town for some time. It seems the sister-once -in -law knew it and kept it a secret, even from her boys. I can't blame pop...I would run too....well ,I guess I did......... Pop always kept Peters and my whereabouts from the old ex. Pop has been good to us. He is a good guy. Sadly two of his three kids turned out to be a loser and a semi loser. I'll focus on the loser.
Eight years of marriage was all I could take. I never should have let it last that long, but we all learn our lessons in our own time and we each have to find our own strength to say enough is enough. Pop filled me in on the latest antics of the ex. He learned pop was back in town a month ago....he showed up on his doorstep, again asking for a handout. He was told the bank was forever closed. He chose the life he was living and he was not going to support his habit...or habits any longer. Done, finis....over. I was told that the ex was up to 265 lbs, ragged looking, living in a slummy building with 2 or 33 other guys. They were all alcoholics and hooked on crack. I knew the ex had been using for sometime. Apparently he started using after meeting his GF who he has been with longer than our marriage lasted. (Pops tells me she is in the hospital partially paralyzed from a seizure brought on by crack use.) I know there is also a warrant out for his arrest for writing bad checks and failure to appear. He holds no job.....go figure.
This all led me to think about strength of character, choices and having the courage to say no. How is it, or what is it that gives a person who finds them surrounded by the evils, say no? No! No! NO! When we were married and he started drinking to much...started using pot.... what was it about me that could say no, I don't want it? If I had stayed with him, would I have eventually fallen onto the same path? For so long, I could not say no to his abuse, but why could I say no to his drugs? What made me responsible and not him? We both owned the same home. We both had the same son. We both had steady jobs. Well, not so much a steady job for him when I left...by then he was on his third job in as many years.
I guess it scares me that I could have followed him. I could have been living on the streets and I could be hooked on drugs. It scares me even more what would have happened to Peter. Maybe Peter was my strength.......after all........I let my husband beat me, but the first time I saw signs that Peter would be his next victim, I was outta there....gone...done...finis. Never looked back.